"So, what happens when you eat gluten?"

You have a 1000 problems until you have a health problem. Then you only have one problem.

“Sorry, I can’t eat this, I am celiac.”
“Sorry, what? why?”
“I have celiac disease. I cannot eat gluten.”
“Oh really! Didn’t know that. So what happens when you eat gluten?”

And there it is. This question used to annoy me. Quite frankly, sometimes there is an unsaid judgement hidden in it. As a celiac person on social media, I regularly see comments like: “Your gut is too weak, just fix it” or others like: “Gluten isn’t going to kill you… just eat.”. In real life, I sometimes overhear people talking about me as “He’s telling everyone that he can’t eat gluten.” (with an eye roll) Or while planning a party, someone will mock the dietary needs saying: “Let’s just have water, I hope nobody has a problem with that.”

Food is one of the most social things we do. When we think of socialising, the first thing that comes to mind is either drinks or food. I don’t like to cause interruptions or ask to be the primary consideration but I can’t avoid it. It is something most celiacs (or other people with allergies) struggle with. Nobody chooses to have a disease, hence I can’t choose to eat gluten. We want everyone to understand that.

The weight that the question carries is manifold; I would highlight a couple of those here. Firstly, it feels like someone is asking to eat it with them as it is not too bad. This attitude just presents the ignorance and lack of willingness to understand from the other end. Secondly, it may feel like someone is denying the existence of the problem.

However, we shouldn’t forget those who ask truly out of curiosity and care. You may say that the tone of their voice tells us something about their intention of asking, which is true and I won’t deny it. That being said, I have started to take the question exclusively in good spirit, as if it is asked out of care and for knowledge. I think none of us will deny that sometimes our judgement on someone’s tone can be misleading, or their use of the tone impulsively can be unintended as well.

I have changed my outlook towards any such questions with the acceptance that the whole world and everyone in it isn’t responsible for my condition, neither am I. Nobody knows everything, so it is totally acceptable to not know about certain medical conditions as well. Especially, if someone’s life experience hasn’t given them any exposure to it. In at least one way, you could be their first. haha!

This approach also adds some humility as it implies that I don’t know everything either. This humility and care for others becomes stronger as being part of celiac groups on social media and in real life.

I have started taking the question in good spirit. So what now? Well, even if someone doesn’t ask with good spirit, isn’t aware of their ignorance and is actually judging me for asking too many questions to my server; it is better to explain it to them. More often than not, it is the lack of knowledge (or disinformation) they possess which promotes certain attitudes.

I haven’t been hospitalised for getting glutened ever, but I have family who have, so I understand the severity of it. But in the end, it is not my responsibility to teach the world, however I will as much as I can. There are times when I don’t feel like explaining; I allow myself to relax and do it another day. However, it doesn’t enrage me as it used to.

A suggestion is to answer with the worst symptom (most ugly) you have. It makes people harder to argue against, as in most cases they can’t imagine it on themselves. You can always follow it up with “not something you would want”. My typical answer is: “My immune system starts attacking my own body, causing issues like bleeding boils behind my ears in a matter of days, which take more than a month to go away.” Pretty good, eh?

When it comes to dealing with the disease on a personal level, it is much easier. There is even a positive side to it. No, I am not saying that the disease is a good thing. Simply, consider if there’s anything we can see in a positive light, all things considered. One thing that I have used to my advantage is the habit of reading the ingredients. I think a lot of us have wanted to be more aware of what we eat at different points in our life. Since I am in the habit of reading ingredients of everything, I am more attentive to the ingredients (other than gluten) I want to avoid, like sugar. It allows me to eat healthier actively. Trust me when I say that now is the fittest I have ever been in my life.

So, what happens when I eat gluten?

Well, for starters, I feel sick for the next few days. I have abnormal bowel movements, boils behind my ears which start bleeding, and muscular pain in random muscles in the body.

If they want to know a bit more detail, I tell them about palpitations, bloating in my stomach, restlessness in sleep, inflammation on my hands and face (probably in the rest of the body as well?), and brain fog. Even if I try to focus on something, I can’t.

If they really want to know, that’s when I explain that my immune system attacks my own body. One of the ways it does that is by deteriorating the villi of my intestines if not cared for can lead to malnutrition, which obviously causes multiple issues in the body.

Despite the challenges and difficulties that come with living with this disease, it has taught me to prioritize my health and to be more mindful of what I consume. It has given me the opportunity to discover new foods and recipes that are not only gluten-free but also delicious and nutritious. It has made me a better cook. It has made me appreciate the importance of self-care. And it added a whole new dimension to the phrase “Health is wealth”.

Now, when someone asks, I respond with patience and understanding. I educate them about the impact of gluten on my health and the symptoms that I experience. Because even if they may not fully understand, it is our responsibility to raise awareness and promote empathy towards those living with dietary restrictions. We must lean in to tell those who are unaware simply because they never needed to be aware.

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